THE ART OF LETTING GO AND MOVING ON
The Art Of Letting Go is a step by step process that begins by gently helping participants connect with the pain of their resentment. This is done through written and oral exercises that allow people to fully connect with aspects of their resentment they may be ignoring, denying or suppressing. Identifying and dealing with their feelings, and telling the story of how they were hurt, begins to release negative emotional energy attached to resentment.
Part of this process involves looking at core needs. Wherever there is resentment, there is a core need that has not been fulfilled, an expectation that has not been met. Participants look at what those are and how their past has influenced those expectations.
We next look at the so-called benefits of not letting go and what it costs us. In noting the payoffs, participants acknowledge that such “benefits” as being right, having a story on which to blame another, playing the victim, being a martyr, etc. are all major negative forces in their lives. Acknowledging what they are paying for these, (poor health, dysfunctional relationships, disturbed mind, negativity, sadness), brings further awareness of the self-destructive nature of resentment.
Participants now create a visualize image of what their resentment feels like and either write it down, draw a picture of it, or act it out. This creates a deeper awareness of what it is like to carry resentment within the heart and thus strengthens their resolve to work on their issues. This is an important step, especially for those who find it difficult to let go. To further aid this process, they are asked to present visual images of what a life without resentment would feel like. They are now more aware than ever of the consequences of choosing to hold on and the consequences of choosing to forgive. People are now ready to take the next step, entering the world of the person who hurt them. They tell their story again, but from their offenders’ point of view. They look at what might have caused or motivated their offender to do what they did. By putting themselves in the very shoes of the person who hurt them, they begin to develop empathy for their offender. As they enter more into their compassionate heart center, the seeds of forgiveness begin to sprout.
It is important for people to discover what their hurt is meant to teach them. Therefore, they are facilitated to explore how their personal karma works to teach them lessons they need to learn. In doing so they realize that the messenger of their karma is really their teacher and that if they don’t learn the lesson he or she brings, they will continue to attract similar people and situations into their life. As they accept the gift that was delivered through the difficulty, they experience that everything in life is a vehicle for transformation. They are now able to honor the situation and realize that there was no one to blame, and thus no one to forgive.
We end the workshop with one of the greatest tools for resentment-free living: authentically appreciating, praying for, and blessing one’s “offender.” Participants are facilitated to offer their appreciation and love, in the form of honor, blessings and service, to the person who has for so long been their “victimizer.” Thus, they step into the world of loving their “enemy,” a rare place to which all great spiritual teachers lead us.
Transformation Through Forgiveness is a life changing experience in self-realization that benefits virtually every aspect of one’s life. It turns debilitating stories of hurt and victimization into empowering stories of responsibility, compassion, and growth. It empowers people to finally become free from the negative influence of the past and live in the present. Transformation Through Forgiveness is a journey from the bondage of resentment to the joy of freedom.
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